Saturday, August 29, 2009

8/29/09 - where'd the rest of august go?

i really need to get into the habit of updating this everyday again. i go months without writing and then am sorry that i dont keep a scribe of my life, since my memory is so awful.

I got a postcard from the hubbs the other day: Made in Hong Kong, purchased in Hawaii and mailed from Australia. How's that for the prime example of the global market? ha.

I miss him terribly, and feel like I'm just going through the motions while he's away. Still trying desperately to organize my life, and it seems that as soon as I feel like I get it in control I do laundry and it all goes to hell after that, haha. Started to 'pack'... well, I put a dozen coffee mugs in a box. Its a start! I really should start looking for a new place to live. SDSU starts monday so I'm sure all the summer rentals will come up this weekend. Wish me luck.

Need more coffee, work in two hours... so far behind in homework!

Monday, August 24, 2009


School started last week and I'm behind already. Classes M-Th and work Th-Sun, so I do not have days off anymore. I had the ultimate earth shattering realization yesterday that without a day off, every day is essentially a Monday. i was heartbroken. I'm already feeling it, and think I'm getting sick to boot.

Had my 'final' appt with the reproductive endocrinologist today, and he's settled on my diagnosis with Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is a fancy term for an incurable hormone imbalance. Essentially I don't make what I need and my ovaries dont work properly. Official suggestion is to go back on the ring until we decide to have kids and deal with fertility issues then, i.e. "until you want a baby and are prepared to spend thousands of dollars don't come back again' ...

I have also developed tendinitis in my right wrist, but when i get xrays for that i have convinced my dr to get xrays of my spine so we can get our insurance to pay for chiropractic and physical therapy for my scoliosis. now if i can just get a front tooth...

on the upside of life, i got a nice review at work and a 50 cent raise, so I'm watching my empathy for humanity wither away while stocking organic produce for a whopping $11.50 an hour.

i've narrowly missed two car accidents today, the second was on the freeway where i had to slam on my brakes to avoid getting my front end taken off, fishtailed in and out of two lanes, where, fortunately, no one was beside me. i was terrified i was going to spin or flip, but somehow made it out alive and untouched, but cried all the way home. so, uh, if anything happens to me while jm is away, please contact Kelly Griffiths on my Facebook friends list, as she is the liaison to his ship and can contact him in an emergency. lol. nervous LOL...

Please excuse my cynicism, but, though i nearly escaped death, i feel it slightly warmed over and all i want is a hug and a nap. and the dog still has fleas so i'll be lucky to get the nap. lol.

Monday, August 10, 2009

what not to do in my grocery store... (a work in progress)

1. ask for a couple boxes, then ask for 10 more because you are moving. hire a mover or get a job in lowly retail where free boxes are one your only perks.

2. snatch a dozen paper bags from my bagging station without asking.

3. eat half a cookie given at our demo table and toss your uneaten bits in the shelf behind the spice jars.

4. race in front of another customer to the check out stand and proudly proclaim 'haha, i beat her' when you get to me. i will dig my dirty fingernails into your produce.

Friday, August 7, 2009


last night i fell asleep on the couch. i just awoke, dreaming that the pacific hurricane elevated water levels here, flooding the streets, and the entire first floor of all the nearby buildings. fortunately for us, our first floor is the garage, so we all were safe. my friend pam was visiting.

i was worried about my husband, because he was in hawaii, where the hurricane was scheduled to hit. i wanted to call him desperately, but my phone needed charging. i looked out my window to see the dark clouds in the distance, only to realize that the water levels were lapping my balcony (which suddenly had a open spot in it where a gate should have been). i wanted to take a picture to send to him, like he had done for me, but as soon as i stepped out and saw the high water, a wave splashed up onto the deck and scared me, so i ran back inside. shortly thereafter, though, i saw my husband's cat in the water just off the balcony, and i ran back out to get him. he was bobbing around in the swell, and i layed on the deck and reached out into the water to grab him. both safe, we went inside and i dried him off the best i could with a gray t-shirt.

i decided it best to take a picture through the window, but as i did, a giant wave rolled in and covered the windows of the second floor. my sliding glass door held tight, and the water remained for only a moment and retreated quickly, but my panic grew bigger.

i tried again to take a picture, but this time through a small window (that i dont really have) and steered clear of the sliding glass door. when i opened my phone to take the picture, and the digital image illuminated in front of me, i saw a man holding a young girl wading through the high waters. i instantly ran to the sliding glass door and opened it. the sun was setting behind the black clouds and i knew if i didnt help them they would be lost at sea. i feared the worst was yet to come.

i ran to the door, that this time did not face the sea, but to a neighboring condo which created a mini hallway between between buildings. a mexican family stood there soaked to the bone and their little girl was crying. the man i had seen through my camera lens was there with his wife and mother, and the little girl. i ushered them in.

just as i began to close the door, a group of kids (early 20s probably) came rushing to my door. there was one girl, a blonde, and three or four guys. she was panicked. they were drunk. i rushed them in the door, knowing time was not on my side, and while anticipating another wave, i yelled for them all to get it together, get inside before i close the f'ing door.

i made sure everyone was ok. i just wanted to call my husband. but this is where the chaos insued, and my dream took a wacky turn. somehow the mexican family disappeared. i didnt see them again.

we made it through the night, bunkered down like we were facing the end of the world. i tried my best to keep coffee going, and all the while was embarrassed that my house wasnt clean.
late night, when the condo was dark, i heard a whirring vibrating sound coming from the top level (of which my place took on a whole new shape), when i stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up, i could see through to the ceiling, similar to the place i lived in turkey, where the stairs wound around the perimiter of the home. there was a ceiling fan at the very top and i feared it was going bad = either coming loose, or wacky wiring. the last thing we needed was for our fortress to be attacked by an electrical fire.

fear stunted me, and with my back to the wall at the bottom of the stairs i called out "does anyone know anything about electricity?" one of the guys with really dark hair came to my side and we slowly climbed the stairs to the second-to-last level. the whole time i kept my back to the wall and slowly slid up the stairs. i remember it was cool to the touch, but it was solid, and that's what i needed.

i realized what the noise was. my sister lived in the loft at the top, and she had a massaging bed. she must have turned it on. and i began to laugh, and leaned against the wall, where i could feel the vibrations, and i called out to the guy climbing the last bit of stairs that i had figured it out and not to go up there. but he started to, and my sister awoke. she had been sleeping the whole time and was unaware of what was going on. (and to this point i was oblivious that she lived with me.)

morning came slowly, and tensions were getting high. my husband's friend richard was suddenly there, being a great support. my friend tim was there too, and at one point he helped me gather the cats from outside under cars (?). when i took ellis in, she had magenta synthetic hairs plugged into her skin from the top of her head all the way down her back. they didnt seem to bother her, but startled me at first, until i remembered that was my fault because of the chicken costume i had put her in a few days back. (?!)

i lit a candle in a large glass jar, a homemade candle reusing an old mayonnaise jar or something. the blond girl argued with me about it. i fought with her about functionality vs fashion and the real idea of reusing and recycling. for some reason she was sitting beside the table writing a letter on her stationary, complete with colored tulips, peace signs, recycle symbols and other hippie-esque things. i called her out, getting in her face about on her 'fashionable' paper that touted environmental issues but was printed with chemically enhanced colored ink on non-recycled paper. i really got in her face, and i was somewhat proud of myself for it, empowered almost. then i tossed her pseudo-hippie and her un-environmentally friendly non-recycled stationary out the door into the hallway. but had a second thought, and pulled her in again, with a hug, and told her how sorry i was, and that i was just scared.

i made a goal for myself, to make it downstairs to get the phone charger, charge my phone, and call my husband. and as i set off to do this, a short man, like shorter than me, came down wearing a ghostbusters jumpsuit and asked me where jon-mark kept the proton packs. i knew i needed his help, but was on task to clean the house and charge my phone, so i told him to wait. (??!!) the other people were getting anxious and wanted to leave. i asked richard if he was going to leave too, though when i talked to him i didnt see his face, just his chest (he's tall) but i knew it was him. he was wearing a soft camel colored corduroy button up, which i wanted to pet, and earphones. he said he wouldn't leave me, that he knew what kind of support i needed, and he was there to provide it. he would help me see it through.

and i woke up. confused. on the couch. looking out onto the dark balcony, afraid that it was stormy and flooded. it took me a few minutes to get it together. but i peeled myself off the couch, finally, and here, to write this all down.

the sun is beginning to rise. its going to be another beautiful day in san diego.

the weather channel says that Enrique is weakening each day, and that Felicia is weakening too. by the time she hits hawaii she will be only a tropical storm causing no major damage.

its only 3am in hawaii. i think i'll email him anyway.