Friday, October 30, 2009

backfire week

so apparently, the proverbial world is crashing down.

in the last five days I have managed to lose faith in school, work, and my closest friends. and i almost lost the cat and the dog, while plummeting down the back stairs with JM's bike.

so last weekend was one of my very best friend's wedding. four of us girls, who were once inseperable, were to get together and spend friday getting our nails done, then have lunch, then decorate the reception hall and do the rehearsal and dinner. with animosities between parties aplenty, it was apparent to me that this group of girls just isnt what it used to be. all weekend, there were cat fights, shit talking, crying and cold shoulders.

tuesday, in my favorite class, the teacher sat down and opened class with a discussion about giongs on on campus. last thursda there was a studen rally protesting issues raised by budget cuts. apparently, the school has decided to cut 467 classes, laying off 300 teachers, which is approx 25% of all classes offered. Meanwhile, the president has given himself and a handful of administrators a big fat raise. what this means is, that classes that are already hard to come by because of the rediculous registration 'priority' appointments and 'waitlist' procedure this school endures, less 467 classes means there will be students frantic to get into classes. and no classes for them to get into. which also means that students that were in line to finish their general eds in spring (like me) and were planning to transfer to state in the fall (like me) may not be able to because there is a giant chance they cant get into the classes they need to complete. and state university is facing giant budget cuts as well, so there will be no soft admission for students that havnt completed all of there classes on time, no student may have lingering classes to finish during the summer, as they MUST be done in the fall. We've also been advised that 2yr degrees are taking 3-4 years and 4year degrees are taking 6-7 just because of budget constraints on schools.

furthermore, we found that after the rally last week, a few students and faculty marched to the presidents office, and because of a similar protest last year that ended badly, the president has a no tolerance policy for the first ammendment. four teachers were served that night with letters banning them from campus. they cannot finish teaching their classes. which also means that nearly 120 students are unable to finish they classes as planned, unless they decide to stick it out with whatever substitute is sent their way.

(oh yeah, by the way, last week i found out that my tuition reimbursement program is being cancelled. so as of the 23rd of october, i have no more tuition assistance from uncle navy.)

wednesday, feeling oh so down, i get a couple of crappy emails from one of my aforementioned girlfriends and it just set me over the edge. i sent a plea to all parties involved letting them know that i just dont understand what wedge has driven itself between them since i moved away last year and i hope they can fix it. well that backfired. now they are all fighting, no one is talking to me, and i feel like an asshole. it seems that my attempt to open the lines of communication and get everyone to like each other again has only amounted to everyone being tight lipped about whats going on in their lives and will only wear a much bigger false face than before. so be it.

that night, i found out something rediculous happened at work. last monday was our inventory. we had too much backstock, according to the district manager. so two days later, when i got back to work, all the backstock was gone. all of it. asking any questions was staunched by one word answers and managers quickly walking away. there was something wrong, we all knew it, but no one was talking about it. a general uncomfortableness swept in. well apparently, the brilliance of the two leading managers felt it was a good idea to put the backstock in the attic. like shoving all your stuff under the bed when mom tells you to clean your room when you're five.

someone then called the district manager and ratted them out. he stormed through the store, into the attic, found it was true, and ripped some new assholes. of course, no one is talking about this. and the whole store is uncomfortable.

they made the whole crew look like assholes. i feel like they made a fool out of all of us, even though only a couple people were involved. i feel lied to. i feel disrespected. i feel totally uncomfortable there now. and i dont want to work for people who play games like that. but what else can i do?

there's now 300 more people laid off in san diego county, whats there for me to do without flipping burgers?

then last night, i found out my husband is leaving in january afterall, the day after my birthday, for three months.

and today, i put the 'good behavior' collar a friend gave me on the cat, and he immediately ran out the back door, down the stairs and under the neighbor's car. followed by the dog hauling ass down the back stairs chasing the neighbor's cat out into the middle of the road, while i almost fell down the stairs with JM's bike.

on top of it all, we got effed by JM's mission reimbursement. so, it seems, we sincerely cannot catch a break this year. and i dont know how much more i can take. i'm really down right now.

it seems that things with the best intentions really are the worst things to do.


Fury said...

Luckily this year is almost over. Will next year be better? Hopefully. Even numbered years tend to be. All we can do is try to stay positive and hope for the best.
Try to think one positive thought every day. Before your first sip of coffee, say "Thank you" out loud. Saying Thank you to the universe brings you more things to be thankful for. Likewise, stressing over things brings more things to stress about. Catch 22 really, but that's how it works.

I am positive that next year will be better for all of us. You hear me Universe?! It WILL BE BETTER! Thank you in advance.

Try to keep your head and heart up. I am always a phone call away. I wish I could say more than" Think positives", but hey it's a place to start. Start in your own mind and it will work it's way out to everything else.

I love you, miss you and am always here for you.