This is our very first fire in our new home.
This is what crawled out of the fireplace right after hubbs lit it.
Wait.. Let me backtrack. That was what crawled out of the fireplace and across the kitchen floor running for its life -
after I put the glass over it to try to show it as a fine specimen of "See! This is the kind of spider I keep finding in the house!"-
and after we realized that when hubbs thought he was opening the fireplace flue, he was really closing it and our living room was promptly filling up with smoke-
and after I opened a few doors and windows to let the smoke out-
and after we learned that (thankfully, in this instance) we don't have a smoke detector in the front half of our house-
and after I tried to pick up the fan to point towards the ceiling to help push the smoke out-
and after the fan fell off its post and out of my hands and rolled across the kitchen floor and scooted the glass-of-spider over a crevice in the tile just big enough for said spider to crawl out of and free from the glass-
and after hubbs shouted from the back porch through the open kitchen window that said spider crawled under the fan lying postless on the kitchen floor-
and after i ripped the plug out of the wall so not to let said spider hit-the-fan, as it were-
and after i moved the fan away from said spider only to realize that the fan had squished its legs and it was dead-
and after I apologized to dead spider for "taking him out like that"-
and after I picked up the fan and replaced it on its post and turned it on again-
and after i looked down to notice the dead spider had moved-
and after I realized that said spider had two legs ripped off and was desperately crawling in circles with the four good legs on his left side-
and after I panicked and stomped on it.
His name was Charlie. Sorry, Charlie.
And this is hubbs outside watching this whole thing happen.
This is also how I learned that, despite his caveman propensity to 'make fire' and his uncanny ability to grill anything over charcoal, hubbs has no clue how to make a fire in a fireplace.
This is also how I realized that setting up a fireplace is, currently, the most useful thing I learned in adolescent weekday chores.
This is also how we managed to get rid of all of our junkmail.
And all of this is why my life can never be dull.