Wednesday, July 1, 2009


its funny how people will jump through hoops when something is important to them, but barely nod their heads when something is not.

the weather has been odd lately. cold and cloudy, windy in the mornings. then the sun comes out around lunchtime for a beautiful afternoon, sometimes windy sometimes not. then by sunset the clouds roll in again for a gloomy end to the day.

we're faced with moving again. i mean, we knew it would happen eventually, but figured we could renew our lease another year if we wanted to give ourselves time to find a home to buy, something to make our own. looks like we will have to move before the end of the year regardless. apartment hunting again, and i hate it. there is a really nice, really spacious, and really cheap complex down the street overlooking the estuary. they will not allow pets over 25lbs. i wonder how they would like it if i told their fat asses they had to weigh less than 110 to live in their home? a very few people would fit that bill.

i found a beautiful new home in glendale, in the neighborhood we wanted to live in, nearly 2200 sq ft with a gorgeous kitchen for under $150,000. I can hardly find a 1000 sq ft apartment for that here.

i keep dreaming about falling in love. meeting someone, connecting with them. that fluttery squishy feeling you get when you meet someone new. they are never real people, no one i know in real life i mean. they often dont even have faces. just the symbols of people, i guess. the dreams are always quick, leaving me not remembering much but the feeling, and it seems that i always wake at the very moment i am making the concious admission that i am in love with that person. but i wake alone, hearing only the dog's tail wrapping against the door waiting to go out.

someone asked me the other day if i miss my husband when he is gone. i wish people would think before they speak.