i just woke from the weirdest dream...
we were rigging the door so that we could get a running start before the 30ft tall frankenstein monster came pouring out of the giant stone doors. See, one of us had pulled the rope that was just randomly hanging from the ceiling, and the wall split in two and started to open, revealing a very large monster guy. so we pushed the doors shut, but realized that we had to keep the rope at a precise height - if we pulled on it too hard the doors would open, and if we simply let it go it would let the doors open.
so our genius idea was to tie the rope to my left hand that was still wearing a boxing glove (WTF?!). they wrapped all my gear around me so i was ready to run. in an afterthought, i realized i had left my granola bars and giant bag of reece's pieces in my desk drawer (again, WTF), so i asked someone to put them in my purse for me. such an inconvenience, the snotty girl sighed at me and roller her eyes, but she simply didnt understand how important it was for me to take my granola bars and reece's pieces.
so the trap was set. my left boxing-gloved-hand tied to a rope hanging from the ceiling and a bag full of snacks in the other, we were ready to execute our plan. we were to start running, all together, then when i got as far as i could go, i was to rip my hand out of the glove giving us time to run faster while the doors behind us opened.
little did we know, that when we got that far, letting the big doors behind us open made the windows in front us close with large stone panels. AND, it let other monsters in from other panels in other walls. specifically, monsters from 'where the wild things are'. but, i was satisfied, thinking we had it covered, because when the big doors opened, big monster guy would eat all the littler monsters, so all we had to run to the windows and jump out.
it was like an indiana jones flick where you could bring your own snacks... we ran straight ahead to the windows that were quickly closing, and made a sharp right turn through the hallway as we noticed a window to our right was jammed, closing very slowly. with a large hurdle jump, we all made it outside...
...into suburbia, where the sun was shining and birds were chirping. we landed on the front lawn of some sort of office building, and our car was parked outside. as the others began to load their crap, i heard a little girl crying. so i walked around the front of the building, and noticed an area where holes had broken through the stone that shielded the windows. a little blond girl was in there, crying about candy. as i started to walk towards her, the big monster from 'where the wild things are' came running at me trying to get the bag of reece's pieces i had taken from my purse and was munching on. he chased me for a bit, but because of his size, couldnt keep up. he stopped. i stopped. he started to cry like a three year old because i wouldn't share my candy. then he pulled the 'fine, i dont want your candy anyway' attitude, and held out his hand full of little red and orange candies, and he said 'because i have Iranian candy to give to the naked baby jesus..' and then he sniffled. and i woke up.
and that, my friends, is the biggest WTF to date.
mental note: do not eat quesodilla and watch family guy before bed.