8/29/09 - where'd the rest of august go?

i really need to get into the habit of updating this everyday again. i go months without writing and then am sorry that i dont keep a scribe of my life, since my memory is so awful.

I got a postcard from the hubbs the other day: Made in Hong Kong, purchased in Hawaii and mailed from Australia. How's that for the prime example of the global market? ha.

I miss him terribly, and feel like I'm just going through the motions while he's away. Still trying desperately to organize my life, and it seems that as soon as I feel like I get it in control I do laundry and it all goes to hell after that, haha. Started to 'pack'... well, I put a dozen coffee mugs in a box. Its a start! I really should start looking for a new place to live. SDSU starts monday so I'm sure all the summer rentals will come up this weekend. Wish me luck.

Need more coffee, work in two hours... so far behind in homework!

ICE

School started last week and I'm behind already. Classes M-Th and work Th-Sun, so I do not have days off anymore. I had the ultimate earth shattering realization yesterday that without a day off, every day is essentially a Monday. i was heartbroken. I'm already feeling it, and think I'm getting sick to boot.

Had my 'final' appt with the reproductive endocrinologist today, and he's settled on my diagnosis with Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is a fancy term for an incurable hormone imbalance. Essentially I don't make what I need and my ovaries dont work properly. Official suggestion is to go back on the ring until we decide to have kids and deal with fertility issues then, i.e. "until you want a baby and are prepared to spend thousands of dollars don't come back again' ...

I have also developed tendinitis in my right wrist, but when i get xrays for that i have convinced my dr to get xrays of my spine so we can get our insurance to pay for chiropractic and physical therapy for my scoliosis. now if i can just get a front tooth...

on the upside of life, i got a nice review at work and a 50 cent raise, so I'm watching my empathy for humanity wither away while stocking organic produce for a whopping $11.50 an hour.

i've narrowly missed two car accidents today, the second was on the freeway where i had to slam on my brakes to avoid getting my front end taken off, fishtailed in and out of two lanes, where, fortunately, no one was beside me. i was terrified i was going to spin or flip, but somehow made it out alive and untouched, but cried all the way home. so, uh, if anything happens to me while jm is away, please contact Kelly Griffiths on my Facebook friends list, as she is the liaison to his ship and can contact him in an emergency. lol. nervous LOL...

Please excuse my cynicism, but, though i nearly escaped death, i feel it slightly warmed over and all i want is a hug and a nap. and the dog still has fleas so i'll be lucky to get the nap. lol.

what not to do in my grocery store... (a work in progress)

1. ask for a couple boxes, then ask for 10 more because you are moving. hire a mover or get a job in lowly retail where free boxes are one your only perks.

2. snatch a dozen paper bags from my bagging station without asking.

3. eat half a cookie given at our demo table and toss your uneaten bits in the shelf behind the spice jars.

4. race in front of another customer to the check out stand and proudly proclaim 'haha, i beat her' when you get to me. i will dig my dirty fingernails into your produce.

dream.

last night i fell asleep on the couch. i just awoke, dreaming that the pacific hurricane elevated water levels here, flooding the streets, and the entire first floor of all the nearby buildings. fortunately for us, our first floor is the garage, so we all were safe. my friend pam was visiting.

i was worried about my husband, because he was in hawaii, where the hurricane was scheduled to hit. i wanted to call him desperately, but my phone needed charging. i looked out my window to see the dark clouds in the distance, only to realize that the water levels were lapping my balcony (which suddenly had a open spot in it where a gate should have been). i wanted to take a picture to send to him, like he had done for me, but as soon as i stepped out and saw the high water, a wave splashed up onto the deck and scared me, so i ran back inside. shortly thereafter, though, i saw my husband's cat in the water just off the balcony, and i ran back out to get him. he was bobbing around in the swell, and i layed on the deck and reached out into the water to grab him. both safe, we went inside and i dried him off the best i could with a gray t-shirt.

i decided it best to take a picture through the window, but as i did, a giant wave rolled in and covered the windows of the second floor. my sliding glass door held tight, and the water remained for only a moment and retreated quickly, but my panic grew bigger.

i tried again to take a picture, but this time through a small window (that i dont really have) and steered clear of the sliding glass door. when i opened my phone to take the picture, and the digital image illuminated in front of me, i saw a man holding a young girl wading through the high waters. i instantly ran to the sliding glass door and opened it. the sun was setting behind the black clouds and i knew if i didnt help them they would be lost at sea. i feared the worst was yet to come.

i ran to the door, that this time did not face the sea, but to a neighboring condo which created a mini hallway between between buildings. a mexican family stood there soaked to the bone and their little girl was crying. the man i had seen through my camera lens was there with his wife and mother, and the little girl. i ushered them in.

just as i began to close the door, a group of kids (early 20s probably) came rushing to my door. there was one girl, a blonde, and three or four guys. she was panicked. they were drunk. i rushed them in the door, knowing time was not on my side, and while anticipating another wave, i yelled for them all to get it together, get inside before i close the f'ing door.

i made sure everyone was ok. i just wanted to call my husband. but this is where the chaos insued, and my dream took a wacky turn. somehow the mexican family disappeared. i didnt see them again.

we made it through the night, bunkered down like we were facing the end of the world. i tried my best to keep coffee going, and all the while was embarrassed that my house wasnt clean.

late night, when the condo was dark, i heard a whirring vibrating sound coming from the top level (of which my place took on a whole new shape), when i stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up, i could see through to the ceiling, similar to the place i lived in turkey, where the stairs wound around the perimiter of the home. there was a ceiling fan at the very top and i feared it was going bad = either coming loose, or wacky wiring. the last thing we needed was for our fortress to be attacked by an electrical fire.

fear stunted me, and with my back to the wall at the bottom of the stairs i called out "does anyone know anything about electricity?" one of the guys with really dark hair came to my side and we slowly climbed the stairs to the second-to-last level. the whole time i kept my back to the wall and slowly slid up the stairs. i remember it was cool to the touch, but it was solid, and that's what i needed.

i realized what the noise was. my sister lived in the loft at the top, and she had a massaging bed. she must have turned it on. and i began to laugh, and leaned against the wall, where i could feel the vibrations, and i called out to the guy climbing the last bit of stairs that i had figured it out and not to go up there. but he started to, and my sister awoke. she had been sleeping the whole time and was unaware of what was going on. (and to this point i was oblivious that she lived with me.)

morning came slowly, and tensions were getting high. my husband's friend richard was suddenly there, being a great support. my friend tim was there too, and at one point he helped me gather the cats from outside under cars (?). when i took ellis in, she had magenta synthetic hairs plugged into her skin from the top of her head all the way down her back. they didnt seem to bother her, but startled me at first, until i remembered that was my fault because of the chicken costume i had put her in a few days back. (?!)

i lit a candle in a large glass jar, a homemade candle reusing an old mayonnaise jar or something. the blond girl argued with me about it. i fought with her about functionality vs fashion and the real idea of reusing and recycling. for some reason she was sitting beside the table writing a letter on her stationary, complete with colored tulips, peace signs, recycle symbols and other hippie-esque things. i called her out, getting in her face about on her 'fashionable' paper that touted environmental issues but was printed with chemically enhanced colored ink on non-recycled paper. i really got in her face, and i was somewhat proud of myself for it, empowered almost. then i tossed her pseudo-hippie and her un-environmentally friendly non-recycled stationary out the door into the hallway. but had a second thought, and pulled her in again, with a hug, and told her how sorry i was, and that i was just scared.

i made a goal for myself, to make it downstairs to get the phone charger, charge my phone, and call my husband. and as i set off to do this, a short man, like shorter than me, came down wearing a ghostbusters jumpsuit and asked me where jon-mark kept the proton packs. i knew i needed his help, but was on task to clean the house and charge my phone, so i told him to wait. (??!!) the other people were getting anxious and wanted to leave. i asked richard if he was going to leave too, though when i talked to him i didnt see his face, just his chest (he's tall) but i knew it was him. he was wearing a soft camel colored corduroy button up, which i wanted to pet, and earphones. he said he wouldn't leave me, that he knew what kind of support i needed, and he was there to provide it. he would help me see it through.

and i woke up. confused. on the couch. looking out onto the dark balcony, afraid that it was stormy and flooded. it took me a few minutes to get it together. but i peeled myself off the couch, finally, and here, to write this all down.

the sun is beginning to rise. its going to be another beautiful day in san diego.

the weather channel says that Enrique is weakening each day, and that Felicia is weakening too. by the time she hits hawaii she will be only a tropical storm causing no major damage.

its only 3am in hawaii. i think i'll email him anyway.

{clever title under construction} PROLOGUE

NPR did a short story this morning on a French woman who worked as a cashier in a grocery store to pay her way through college. Then afterward, when no jobs were available, stayed on. And on. And on. At age 29 she published her first book, titled something in French, about her observations of people's behavior, good and bad, as they came through her grocery line in a truthful, cynical, yet lighthearted way. It's since been translated into 16 languages and she's published a second book.

Now, I felt ripped off. I've been meaning to do the same thing. I've even blurbed a bit about those things here. But admittedly, she was a journalism student long before I began working in a grocery store, and she's long passed me as she thought of this years ago. Nonetheless.

I've been aching about it all day. My missed opportunity, thinking that could have been me! We're the same age! Well, actually she's older than me, but was my age when she published her first book, and she was probably a college student when I was ten, cuz I really don't know how old she is now...

I digress.

Anyway, I've decided to do it anyway. Sorry, that was 'anyway' twice.

Ahem. Anyhoo, I came to the realization that although she beat me to the bookbinder, she certainly is not the only person to work in a grocery store or as a cashier of any means, and she certainly isn't the only one to be bothered by other people's behavior. And since she is French, speaks and writes in French and observes other people in France, and French people are, well, French*, I figure I ought to take a bite out of American upper-middle class suburbia and put a real Real Housewives of Eastlake this-is-how-they-treat-the-grocery-clerk message out into the world.

Then perhaps I will randomly meet Miss Frenchie on a passenger train somewhere in a French countryside, seeing as how that seems to be what they have going for them most, aside from baguettes in bicycle baskets next to the ching-ching bells, and we can compare notes.

This so begins what I've been dictating in my head for many weeks. And while I'm at it, let me acknowledge my recent affinity for italics.

*Disclaimer: I'm only poking fun at French for the sake of poking fun at someone. I love Amelie, but I've never actually met a French person. If I had there'd be no reason for a disclaimer. hee hee.

stuff

its funny how people will jump through hoops when something is important to them, but barely nod their heads when something is not.

the weather has been odd lately. cold and cloudy, windy in the mornings. then the sun comes out around lunchtime for a beautiful afternoon, sometimes windy sometimes not. then by sunset the clouds roll in again for a gloomy end to the day.

we're faced with moving again. i mean, we knew it would happen eventually, but figured we could renew our lease another year if we wanted to give ourselves time to find a home to buy, something to make our own. looks like we will have to move before the end of the year regardless. apartment hunting again, and i hate it. there is a really nice, really spacious, and really cheap complex down the street overlooking the estuary. they will not allow pets over 25lbs. i wonder how they would like it if i told their fat asses they had to weigh less than 110 to live in their home? a very few people would fit that bill.

i found a beautiful new home in glendale, in the neighborhood we wanted to live in, nearly 2200 sq ft with a gorgeous kitchen for under $150,000. I can hardly find a 1000 sq ft apartment for that here.


i keep dreaming about falling in love. meeting someone, connecting with them. that fluttery squishy feeling you get when you meet someone new. they are never real people, no one i know in real life i mean. they often dont even have faces. just the symbols of people, i guess. the dreams are always quick, leaving me not remembering much but the feeling, and it seems that i always wake at the very moment i am making the concious admission that i am in love with that person. but i wake alone, hearing only the dog's tail wrapping against the door waiting to go out.

someone asked me the other day if i miss my husband when he is gone. i wish people would think before they speak.

what was i thinking??

i just woke from the weirdest dream...

we were rigging the door so that we could get a running start before the 30ft tall frankenstein monster came pouring out of the giant stone doors. See, one of us had pulled the rope that was just randomly hanging from the ceiling, and the wall split in two and started to open, revealing a very large monster guy. so we pushed the doors shut, but realized that we had to keep the rope at a precise height - if we pulled on it too hard the doors would open, and if we simply let it go it would let the doors open.

so our genius idea was to tie the rope to my left hand that was still wearing a boxing glove (WTF?!). they wrapped all my gear around me so i was ready to run. in an afterthought, i realized i had left my granola bars and giant bag of reece's pieces in my desk drawer (again, WTF), so i asked someone to put them in my purse for me. such an inconvenience, the snotty girl sighed at me and roller her eyes, but she simply didnt understand how important it was for me to take my granola bars and reece's pieces.

so the trap was set. my left boxing-gloved-hand tied to a rope hanging from the ceiling and a bag full of snacks in the other, we were ready to execute our plan. we were to start running, all together, then when i got as far as i could go, i was to rip my hand out of the glove giving us time to run faster while the doors behind us opened.

little did we know, that when we got that far, letting the big doors behind us open made the windows in front us close with large stone panels. AND, it let other monsters in from other panels in other walls. specifically, monsters from 'where the wild things are'. but, i was satisfied, thinking we had it covered, because when the big doors opened, big monster guy would eat all the littler monsters, so all we had to run to the windows and jump out.

it was like an indiana jones flick where you could bring your own snacks... we ran straight ahead to the windows that were quickly closing, and made a sharp right turn through the hallway as we noticed a window to our right was jammed, closing very slowly. with a large hurdle jump, we all made it outside...

...into suburbia, where the sun was shining and birds were chirping. we landed on the front lawn of some sort of office building, and our car was parked outside. as the others began to load their crap, i heard a little girl crying. so i walked around the front of the building, and noticed an area where holes had broken through the stone that shielded the windows. a little blond girl was in there, crying about candy. as i started to walk towards her, the big monster from 'where the wild things are' came running at me trying to get the bag of reece's pieces i had taken from my purse and was munching on. he chased me for a bit, but because of his size, couldnt keep up. he stopped. i stopped. he started to cry like a three year old because i wouldn't share my candy. then he pulled the 'fine, i dont want your candy anyway' attitude, and held out his hand full of little red and orange candies, and he said 'because i have Iranian candy to give to the naked baby jesus..' and then he sniffled. and i woke up.

and that, my friends, is the biggest WTF to date.

mental note: do not eat quesodilla and watch family guy before bed.

New collection - Beach Diva!

I've been working on a custom order I received through my Etsy shop, The Curio Boudoir, that was inspired by my Natural Sand and Shell Switchplate. I have been making many bumbles! I'm trying very hard to meet the customer's specifications, but this is still a learning process for me. With each item I make, I am constantly seeking better ways of doing things.

I've been trying to make the 'perfect' sand covered switch plate, and needless to say I've made a dozen less-than-perfect examples so far :) However, with each bumble, I am discovering a new way of making them, and with each new way a new organic idea comes to fruition.

I was toying with the idea of using a spray adhesive to cover the switch plates with sand, as brushing on thick white adhesive was just not working out so well... I couldn't get an even-steven coat to save my life. I dug through all of my craft supplies, and found the small can of spray adhesive I used once years ago - and apparently didnt clean the nozzle after the last use because it is CLOGGED! While digging, however, I found a small can of spray glitter, and I figured its the same basic substance just with a little diva added to it... so I tried it.

I sprayed the plate with the glitter, and while it was still wet, buried it in sand. A little while later, I dug it out, brushed it off, and voila! It was a beautiful even coat of sand with a tiny bit of shimmer showing through. I instantly fell in love with it and started pulling out all of the shells I have lying around, trying to find one with the perfect amount of pink in it.

I had a bag of shells collected when I visited my sister and her husband in Louisiana a few years ago - actually, the week between hurricanes Katrina and Rita. We went to Holly Beach and found mass amounts of shells and other debris that had washed up. We even found a boot, a shirt, a hat, several bones, and we put together a 'beach man' haha.

I had completely forgotten about them, but in that collection of debris, I found the perfect piece of pink and white coral. I adhered the coral to the lower right corner... but... it still needed something.

A ha! My recent rhinestone addiction came out to play! I embellished both the coral and the switch plate with some magenta gems to finish it off. This gave me the idea to do the same with wood picture frames, trinket boxes, and other little goodies. And so was born the Beach Diva Collection! You can see the first installment in my Etsy shop now! (click on photo below)

I think this piece would be a lot of fun in a beach themed bedroom, dressing room, or a teen's room.

Stay tuned for more from The Beach Diva Collection!

Tibetanelements interview with The INcrowd

I just received word that I was mentioned in a recent blog by the INcrowd Etsy team from Indiana. They interviewed a lovely artist and member of the team, Tibetanelements. Her shop at http://www.tibetanelements.etsy.com/ features beaded and delicate wire jewelry (with many dragonflies - and you know how I love dragonflies!!). Please take a moment to peruse her shop as well as the INcrowd's blog at http://indianaetsy.blogspot.com/, where you will find the interview in full. (below, tibetanelements dragonfly hairpin)



In the interview, tibetanelements was asked to suggest five of her favorite shops, and she graciously listed my candle shop! I am honored to be a part of this list, and I'm off to share the love and check out the other four artists!! I hope you will do the same!

Thanks to the INcrowd and tibetanelements for the compliment and encouragement, and I wish much success to them all.

as the grocery produce rotates....

a new installment in the saga of my workplace.

this week was intesting. i was told that I am the 'favorite heather' by a couple of people, and then, by the other heather, how Heather is such a 'white' name...

tequila and cramps girl suggested to someone that they 'oven' their asparagus. 'it tastes really great if you oven it..." same said tequila and cramps girl let us know she cleaned the 'ladies room' when we have two restrooms - both family rest rooms.

early morning crew = grouchy.

an elderly woman came in today with a cart full of groceries, and she was disgustingly chipper. just as i was thinking to myself how apparently happy she is, i pulled the gallon jug of vodka out of her shopping cart... oh, thats why. and that made my day.

another elderly lady today confessed that this was her first experience into our store and asked if she could have one of our large bags (even though she purchases only one item) because she
'sort of collects bags... you know, its one of those kinky things i have - i collect bags...'