Thursday, May 14, 2009

i miss writing this way...

ok so i am catching up on my 'social netoworking' skills and decided that i cannot exclude myspace any longer. too many of my friends are still there, and i miss them. they are not on facebook, most of them, so i have to play both sides. it is what it is. anywhoo...

i was looking through some of my old blogs on myspace and found this one, from nearly two years ago. but it struck me, one because i had completely forgotten about it, and two, because its still true:

1000 miles away
i want to meet a child in mozambique. i want to ask him where he sleeps at night. i want to ask him about his favorite color and the dreams he awakes with. i want to touch his nose and make a silly pinkie swear. give him a balloon and a rice crispie treat. a twistie straw and a flintstone vitamin. i want to give him a best friend and a game they can share.

i want to write in the colors with which i dream. i want to speak with the tones that beat in my chest. i want to light the world with the candles i make. i want to make a difference to at least one person. i want to capture light in all its beauty, put them on bilbourds across the world, then simultaneously set them ablaze. i want to ruin pixie sticks. i want everyone to have at least one gummy worm. i want dancing to become prescribed therapy. i want to send slushies to the kid in mozambique.

i once read that if you write Thank You's on small sheets of paper and put them in a small box - cigar box, jewelry box, etc - that they will become part of your every day. like 'thank you for the most efficient copy machine repairman in the city' and he will become what you say 'thank you' for already having. part of the self-fulfilling prophecy i suppose. i tried it. i dont think the rolodex was the proper sort of box for this type of life changing magic.

i want to adopt a million dogs to give them a special life, on a farm where they can chase chickens. too bad for the chickens, but the dogs will be happy. i want kirby to swim right-side-up. i want azreal to love mew again. i want a lot of things...

i want to hear the sound of birds singing and actually enjoy it. i want to smell roses while they are still in a garden. i want to smell the sea. rain. wet concrete. popsicles.

i want to meet a buddist. breathe in his peace. learn of gods and wisdoms. even if only in stories. good stories, not gods that thrive on war. i want to remove this blindfold to find there really is a pinata, and find reassurance that i'm not just swinging at air with a wooden bat. perhaps a giant carrot. either way, what am i fighting for? against? with or without?

there is a path. green. yellow. orange. red. and blue. with a giraffe as my guide. i need sleep.

"...what kind of scale compares the weight of two beauties, the gavity of duty or groundspeed of joy? tell me what kind of guage can quantify elation? What kind of equation could i possibly employ?..." AD

there's just more to life than this.


Fury said...

You do make a difference to more then one person! and you definitely got your wish to smell sea and rain!
You do write in colors whether you realize it or not. The thank you's are a great idea. It's something i do in my mind to the guys resurfacing 7th st, the red light that turns green, the loud neighbor that suddenly goes quiet, the nice person in traffic...people, universal acts that don't have a face I can speak to, but i put it out there anyway.